because, even abortions have attitude

nobel prize 09

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:09:50 GMT

You know that girl who always wore a leather jacket and hung around your best friend's high school band? She smoked a lot of cigarettes and didn't talk a lot, save for the well timed comment that was perfect in its brevity and profoundness? She just won the Nobel Prize for Literature.

http://www.welt.de/kultur/article4776453/Reich-Ranicki-will-nicht-ueber-Herta-Mueller-reden.html

Such a cool choice!

summer reading

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:56:22 GMT

My most well read summer of the last couple of years. And they are (in no paticular order)...

Plasticville and The Late Show (poetry) by David Trinidad

Outside the Lines: Conversations with Contemporary Gay Poets by Christopher Something.
Yes, the subject may seem like a niche, but this is a collection of intriguing and frank conversations with brilliant men.

Songs of the Dragons Flying to Heaven and Other Plays by Young Jean Lee.
I finally read the first collection of Ms Lee's plays. Some disappointed, but the title
play and The Appeal are hilarious. She is without a doubt my favorite new playwright in America.

Powerless: Selected Poems by Tim Dlougus. So good! If you like your poetry conversational,
moody but puncuated with wit, Tim is your man. The later poems in the book, which he
wrote while dying of AIDS, have stunning clarity.

Some essays from Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion. I plan to read the entire thing,
but I started skipping around. She has really good grammar.

Portnoys Complaint by Philip Roth. I either find it hilarious, gross or repetitive. I'm not done reading it yet! Soon!

The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon. This is the first novel I've read by the author. It's a slight book, and his obsessive voice can
nauseate you with all of his intricate details, but when he's on he is on. A stupidly slick writer. His narration is a lot like detective novels
of the mid century (Chandler, Hammett) which I was really into in middle school, so I got an added glee out of reading the novel; to me, Pynchon sounds like if Raymond Chandler was 30 years younger in 1968, lived in a Grenwich VIllage apartment and did drugs. I'll have to write more about this later, but I just finished it and I"m still a little stupored.

And I also read this tonight: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/06/magazine/06jonze-t.html?_r=1&ref=arts
I disclose that I am a New York Times junkie, albeit I only read the Arts section (and on weekends, the Magazine). I realize
there is such a thing as Politcs and World News, but at the end of the day, it's music, theatre and film that I want to read about.
My addiction has gotten me to the point where I now google "nytimes arts" instead of going to the home page of the paper and clicking
on the section.

They almost always have a review of something I am interested in and more often than not they interview or profile an artist
worth reading about. Then, once in a while, a writer contributes a gem of a piece like the one above, about the director Spike Jonze.
A really fun article about a passoinate guy. Read it!! I promise that when you finish it, you will immediately feel the urge to paint/draw/write/animate/make music/ run outside.

Only in dallas for 3 more days and everyone is in school and I don't have a car- if only!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:15:29 GMT

Tilda Swinton's "Julia"

the first film i have ever walked out of.

maybe its because i was tired and
cranky from a walking expedition to
Andersonville and back (10 miles) but i have
no desire to watch her play a middle aged
sociopath alcoholic who befriends a
psycopath and kidnaps a kid at
gunpoint for money etc. etc.

it was like "funny games" with
out the "Oh this is philisophical! and
a comment on society!"

really, its a complement: Tilda Swinton is that good. Let me know if you see it! I 'd love to know how it ends.
i dont think it's come to dallas yet...

upon listening to wilco's "handshake drugs" for the first time in a long time

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:07:22 GMT

I hadn't even ventured into all of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
(if 'I Am Trying to Break Your Heart' is your
first track, you're lucky a 14 year old boy makes it
to track two)
when A Ghost is Born came out
my sophomore year
the cover - an egg shell
and white background
to match my
crisp white
oxford shirt

'Handshake Drugs'
was my favorite
song. Hands
down.

Like a perfectly
timed walk
around the block
to let out steam,
the song doesn't
overstay it's
welcome.

Besides the
obvious allusion
to 'Drugs' in the
title, which I
was getting
into at the time:

An actual
conversation
from sophomore
year PE

Cool Senior:
Do you like
Interpol?

Me:
Yeah.

Cool Senior:
Do you like
Velvet Underground?

Me:
Yeah.

Cool Senior:
Do you smoke
pot?

I was shocked and
thrilled

who knew
pot was the logical
next step?

Like deciding on
D
after C.

I wonder
if I listened
to "handshake
drugs" when
I got back
into my room,
shut the door,
and took a
shower after
smoking pot
for the first time
at Zak's house?

Had the album
come out by
then?

I remember
how scorched
my throat
felt after
that first
inhale,
a fistfull
of cigarettes
at once.

I sat in the top
bunk of his
lakewood
mansion
bedroom

feeling as
if my brain
was Cereal
and the drugs
were the milk;
everything went
Snap
Crackle and
Pop

All in all
I didn't like
it. I mean
I liked it
but whats
the point if
all you do
once you're
high is watch
Zak play
Medal of
Honor and
listen to his
crappy keyboard
techno songs?

It would
not be until
a year later
when I found
people who
I enjoyed
smoking pot
with. as a
result there
is a three
month gap
of junior
year high
school that
i really have
no memory
of, other
than that
i was in
Guys and
Dolls and
that I killed
and that in
order to not
fall asleep
while driving
home from
rehearsals
i had to stop
at Paciugo's
and order a
gelato, eating
it in the car.

but maybe
that's just
the effect
of junior
year?

moreso
than the
drugs (
addiction
debatable)
i was addicted
to my friends,
to their
friendship.

maybe
this is what
jeff tweedy
is talking about
in 'handshake
drugs': the
addiction of
certain types
of people.

they were
rich and had
big cars and
refrigerators
always full
of pizza and
a liter of coke.

junior year
i smoked
every
weekend.

one day
so exhausted
from rehearsal
the night before
I stopped at
a Borders
parking lot
on the way
to school,
parked my
car, and took
a 2 hr.
nap in the
front seat
of my car.

now, in
my room
the smell
wafts down
from the
living room
above. i
really don't
care to do
it anymore.
who has the
leisure? the
time? i'm
20. do you
realize that's
9 years
and some
days from
30? And
if you're 30
well
i mean
who knows.

my junior
year friends
who i smoked
with still smoke.

i know school
counselors
who still
smoke. college
professors.

my junior
year friends
i cant remember
the last time i
talked to any
of them, with the
exception of one
of them because
his family always
has an xmas
party and i go. and
we make plans
to go hang out
but they never
happen. i feel
forced around
him! too weird.

by senior
yeah everyone
ok the vast
majority of
jesuit's 2007
class smoked.

by spring quarter
it was like everyone
had an early
mide life crisis:

smoking pot
just the preliminary
form of buying the
porsche.

senior year
this guy
decided to
smoke pot:
he still does.

instead
i came out.

he still smokes
and told me
a couple of
months ago
via fbook that
he is 'bi'.

(Exactly what
do you want
me to be?)

slow mo. the
world moves
too quickly.

i never
liked the
terminology
anyway.

'Dank Nugs'?
Give me a
break.

the song
fades into
fuzz and pedals
and whirls,
whizzy distortion
like the pricks
along your spine
plugged into an
amp and it carries
you on a high

then
sounds come
into focus
crystallizes
into one
shiny
note

strive to
Gleam.

(memory
identity
creativity
the arts,
god, love,
pouty boys.
still hold sway
and cause me
to get lost for
hours.)

the handshake
drugs

at least i
get that part.

---

(at 20, you're 20.
at 40, you're a poet.
- some famous guy)

(but i enjoyed
writing it!)

allow me to get all gay for a minute

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 13:45:22 GMT

http://www.wfaa.com/video/?nvid=375903
Here we are, on the 40th anniversery of Stonewall. I marched with my friend and professor Miho with her partner Ann and their daughter Mei for Chicago's Pride. They were marching as part of Mei's PUBLIC elementary school in support of gay rights. They were the first school in the history of the march to participate. Gay dads marched with their kids, carrying banners saying "School is out and so are my dads" and "My elementary school teachers Reading, Writing, Arithmetic and Acceptance". It was great. My only complaint is that the parade was too long and I was tired, but I had a lot of fun. A stereo blasted The Jackson 5's "ABC (123)", which I found to be a fitting song. It really IS that easy.

Then, the next day I was on Dallas Morning News website trying to find reviews of my friend's play in the Theatre section, when I see a report on the front page about a police raid (or as they call it, "Bar Check") at 1am on the Rainbow Lounge, a fucking TWO WEEK OLD gay bar in Fort Worth. The patrons are accusing the police of "excessive force". Let me state here: one of the patrons they arrested, Chad Gibson, a man in his 20s, is in Intensive Care for a brain injury as a result of the bar raid. And we're even questioning excessive force?!?!?? This is a joke. A huge joke and a local shame. I'm glad Fort Worth is receiving national attention for this crap. It makes me so angry. It really does.

Times like this i ask myself: Whats the difference between Dallas and Chicago, besides a couple hundred miles? One has Cedar Springs, which I love dearly. The entire "gay-berhood" is two blocks. You have the gay bar (JRs) next to the gay club (S4) next to the lesbian bar (Sue Ellen). Across the street is a burger joint, a pizza place, the mandatory gay vhs store for all the middle aged queens, god bless 'em, and Buli, a delicous ice cream/ panini cafe. Don't forget the Cafe Brazil on the corner! Just thinking about it now makes me smile.

Chicago has Boystown, aka North Halstead. At every street corner there is a huge, rainbow streetlamp. There are more bars than I count, sushi resturants, clothing stores, gyms and a bath house (yes, in 2009.).

Besides the real estate, whats the difference? I guess Acceptance, Tolerance, a barely existent level of Homophobia, a love of Diversity. How do you force people to like Gay People? I don't know. I wish it was so much simpler. At the parade, there was a hetero family next to me watching the floats go by. The dad held his son up on his shoulders and the mom said to the kid "Look at all the boys shake their butts!" The kid, albeit, looked a little too happy to be a gay pride parade but the point is: look what they're teaching their kid! Being gay doesn't matter! It's fun!

There is no reason why, if you are gay, where you are born in America should determine so many things in your life. I shudder to think of what my life would be like if I had Mormon parents or Republican parents or Fundamentalist parents. California schools have Gay Straight Alliances and Jesuit has to ask the fucking Bishop for permission to start one of thier own.

Little known fact: Harvey Milk actually lived in Dallas for around 2 years. He was sick of the fast paced life of NYC and wanted something simpler. He lived in an apartment on Greenville Avenue. I found the exact address in a book; when I go back to Dallas in August I'm going to try to mark it. I'm interested to see if the building still exists. He even dated a Dallasite for a while, but he found Harvey too demanding. Harvey missed NYC and his ex boyfriend joe even more, so he moved back.

There will be a candlelight vigil outside of the Rainbow Lounge TONIGHT at July 1st at 8:30pm. Please go. I would if I could.

holy breakfast on the terrace, batman

Tue, 26 May 2009 22:20:40 GMT

Saw this in an independent bookstore front window while on my way to buy the new Grizzly Bear album (from an indenpendtly owned record store, of course). The picture stopped me dead in my tracks.

It's a memoir called Ardent Spirits by this american novelist about his 6 years in england/ europe as a rhodes scholar.

If that picture doesn't make me want to leave for Europe right this minute, I don't know what will. This only makes the Chicago rain drearier; the fact that i have 2 more weeks of school and finals doesn't help either.

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:09:04 GMT

This is a fun 5 minute time waster:

Lets make a band:

- Go to wikipedia and click on "random article". That is your band's name.

- Go to en.wikiquote.org and click on "Random page". The last couple of words from the last quote on the page is the name of your band's album.

- Go to flickr.com and click on "Last 7 days.." and choose an image to be your album cover!

Here's mine. Introducing the new band Julian Stachiewicz (some polish war historian) and their debut album
the time you are on tv. The cover is this sweet pic of a blonde and a brunette girl in black and white.

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 01:09:19 GMT

Chicago is experience a menopause of the climate. Yesterday was 85 degrees and beautiful. My friends and I walked down the beach, sat on the pier and downed a bottle of white wine. Today, it's 45 degrees and was heavily raining 2 hours ago. Pick a season and stick with it.

I was suppose to have rehearsal today for the FFF performance but I could not pull myself out of the fucking bed. I barely sleep during the school week. Thankfully, I'm co-directing it with my friend Jeremy and he showed up, so all is not lost. Because of FFF and Dying City, the workshop that i'm asst. directing, i have had no time for school work. it's like a have to pick 2 classes a week to focus on, and forget that the other 3 exist, which has been manageable. Except next week I have a midterm and a philosophy paper due the week after that as well as my design binder. So, in an effort to soften the blow, I'm staying in on Saturday night to finish work and clean my room.

I watched Control a couple of nights ago. It's a great movie! The recreations of Joy Division playing live are phenomenol and meticulous. Plus, Sam Riley is darling to the eye and his brooding voice is a great match for Ian Curtis. And you know how everyone says that Cate Blachett is a chameleon actress? The real Cate Blanchett is Samantha Morton, who ages 20 years in this film without the use of make up (it's filmed in B and W) yet it's believable. Great music, great film, sad story.

Putting the "performance" back into performance art

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:31:24 GMT

What i've been doing since january...

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:28:26 GMT

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 07:25:44 GMT

video2.xtube.com/watch_video.php

I can't believe i'm posting a link to xtube on my livejournal, but i'm doing it. This is the most adorable gay porn you will ever see.
It's more like a short film, actually, than devolves into a gay porn. It's 26 minutes long and everyone should watch the first 5 minutes - you won't see anything, I promise. There's HUMOR and a PLOT and EDITING and ADORABLE PREP SCHOOL COSTUMES! I'm pretty sure this film is one of my high school fantasies, but because my high school was located in Texas and I was more into the straight guys than the 2 gay guys I knew, my fantasies always took place inside of a pick up truck.

Seriously. Watch this. You have a great rock n' roll track playing in the back, 3 guys of varying cuteness....you just don't see this kind of quality on XTube. It's like a cross between Wes Anderson, Jon Waters and...well, amateur porn.

Warning: if you go past the 5 minute mark, you're going to see some porn. Proceed at your own risk.

Yes, I realize I need a boyfriend, i just found this video too hilarious and sexy to NOT share with everyone.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 07:28:45 GMT

okay, not the best picture but it's recent. I was trying to find the pictures from Nico's east
village boys photo shoot (yes, i go to that site because it posts cool things about queer
culture and artists. and artistically posed guys in various states of indie dress). He's so cute
Nico Muhly - hottest young composer out there. I want him.

Other stuff:

SO BUSY. DePaul's 3rd quarter started yesterday. i'm already feeling the pressure. skipped italian today on the
second day of the effing quarter and missed the first day of the past tense as a result. am in rehearsals for two plays at the moment, one i'm AD-ing and the other i'm the director/lead producer/ actor/ person's who ass is on the line if it all goes to shit.

Classes range from irritating to nifty to amazing, but there's 5 of them and i don't know if i can do it. I have to keep the academic
spirit until June 14th!

Still don't know about summer internships and it's startin to bug me.

Still need to do a post about spring break to iowa.

need to finish two pieces to submit to Lit Mag.

okay this can't turn into another TO DO list thing.

OH good thing i'm in dallas next week! sucks it's only for 2 and a half days. i figure friday i'll be with the family/ rossi
and saturday i can be with friends (possibly with rossi). I really want to go to the Undermain Theater! I have such a
nostalgia for that place. it's probably my favorite theatre in the world. Anyone want to go with me? Their show opens this coming friday and hasn't been reviewed yet.
Sunday is easter brunch. god how i look forward to good, home cooked italian food.

Must finish homework...

32 degree spring break 09

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 08:22:41 GMT

ROOMMATES, QUIT VOMITING.

CHICAGO, QUIT INBIBING.

I barely drank in high school and yet I have this magical ability to know when to say, "No more alcohol, please!"

MORE TO COME...

ps I love Vampire Weekend! So cute and the keyboardist is cute!

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 08:03:17 GMT

The Theatre School had a coffee house/open mic night. My roommates and I have been writing songs together and finally pieced two together that we we really enjoyed performing. So i signed us up.

Turns out, the open mic night was also a competition to open for this band (i'd never heard of them) when they come to Chicago.

We won.

The "band" consisted of Jess on acoustic guitar, her friend who flew in for the weekend on flute, EJ on train whistle (i shit you not) and me in eye shadow and rhythmically slapping my hands on the sides of my thighs to create some semblance of percussion. And i was wearing a dress over my t shirt and jeans.

The crowd was really into it. The fact that we won doesn't really surprise me - the two songs we wrote are rather catchy and hooky. One is about this bitch who stole our dog (true story) and the other is kind of like a Belle and Sebastian song about a girl...if Belle and Sebastian wrote about inner city urban high schools. It's not that we don't take our songs seriously - we all wrote them together and I'm very pleased with them - but we don't take ourselves seriously. For god sakes, i can't even sing and i've never studied an instrument! Plus, the fact that i can't sing is mocked in the song about the dog because i get to do my own diva-ish solo.

But now we're opening for some band. WTF. And i have finals next week!

AND - i'm not coming home for spring break because i'm doing a production of Laramie Project in Iowa (dont ask) bu I will be home for Easter weekend. So mark your calendars - i know it's free, you agnostic little brats : )

OH YEAH - Belle and Sebastian's BBC sessions is so good. And i love Dramaturgy again. And i've been writing a lot of non fiction again. And i remembered that i'm good at acting. I actually forgot. Weird. okay i have to write a paper on Sam Shepard bye!

pps - our band is called You Girl Hotness.

we just haven't earned it yet, baby

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 11:30:47 GMT

I haven't posted in here for a while. What else is new? This time, the reason is that I received a journal from my aunt for my 20th birthday and I decided to actually use it. I was really good at journaling and I found a great sense of pleasure in recording my thoughts and feelings about friends and ideas for various forms of artistry; it gives validity to my feelings & makes me put effort into backing myself up.

But then, I live in world of 10 week academic cycles and its easier to journal early in the quarter. Not due to a lack of free time, but because I can afford to use my free time to write instead of sleeping or being social or cleaning the apartment. After a full day of class, esp. on M and W, I come home after eating dinner and I spend an hour on the internet, checking fbook and reading the sites i like to read (nytimes arts, certain theatre and gay news blogs, pitchfork to find out what the cooler version of myself is listening to, playing music i like on my iTunes). When there's homework to be done, this is how I spend my leisure time. I'm not chastising myself for it - it's healthy and harmless. I just wish I could cull from some deeply hidden motivation and cut my internet time in half and just write. This cycle is interrupted by nights that I devote to other things, like concerts and plays, or when I can afford to just be goofy with my roommates, I jump at the chance to just lie in their beds and joke aroun while watching top chef. And then there were the parties...but I was more of the wry wallflower then the center of attention.

I'm proud of myself this semester. If I keep my cool, I can expect a raised GPA if not straight A's. Part of this was my deliberate to focus on schoolwork. But I also promised myself that I was going to also relingquish any stupid, petty infantile crushes on people. Keep my nose in the books and my eyes to the white glare of the laptop. No time to look around people. This method works woners. My theatre prof. personally told me what she thinks of me as a student and a writer (good things) and I found some worthwile stuff to apply for this summer. But then, 2 weeks ago, the unplanned made an appearance.

Coming out of class, I ran into my friend. She asked me if I had every met her friend. I said I had seen him around but never formally met him. He introuced himself. We shook hands. He ran off to class and she proceeds to tell me that he has a crush on me etc etc

I'm smitten. Three weeks later, nothing has come of it. There were too many grapevines. I still haven't hung out with him and I don't really know anything about him other then the fact that he likes me - but yet I'd love nothing more then to just sit in the corner of a coffee shop and talk with him.

Three weeks ago, I told myself to not let this happen again - that I get so shy and scared I create something beatiful and fun in my head. The trouble is, it's not real. And now, I feel the chance is over. He knows that I know that he likes me. He also knows I like him back. But it's a shallow infatuation - based on his looks and, from the moments i've encountered him, he seems intelligent and nice. We haven't even taken part in a trial and error romantic chase, and he's already won me. I dont blame him - i'm the same way. Who wants to go after something we know we can get? There's no risk, no fun.

Three weeks! Where did the time go? What did I do with it? I've run the emotional gammut: from listening to optimistic Wainwright to now, this week, working myself into pointless fits of mania and not sleeping, blaring The Smiths for 3 hours straight. I have a strange relationship with that band. yes, I love them, but now I only listen to them to ritually prepare myself for the worst. The disappointment. I find it odd that this time it coincides with the release of a new Morrissey album- as if he knows i'll need new songs to apply to my life. "Sorry doesn't help". "I'm OK by Myself". One songs states "I was wasting my time looking for love/ For a love that never comes from someone who does not exist/ That's how people grow up". Ouch...

I'm not depressed. It's just that I hate little things to get excited about, because I know exactly how they'll end up. I've tried flinging myself on other people, I've tried always having love at the forefront of my mind, and now I've tried the ' find it when you least expect it' method and it all leads to nothing better than the current situation. Things to look forward to never materialize.

Yes, i get obsessed, I can't help it. I just from one extreme interest to the next, whether its a film director or a cute boy.

The worst thing I hate about disappointting crushes is that I feel they expose our deepest selves. We can all pretend that graduate school, writing a great play, attaining straight A's and being at artist are the most important things in our lives, but when even a glimmer of an oppurtunity to be with someone is shown to us, we become hypnotized. It's not so much the thought of throwing it all away - the hard work and talent - for a chance of love; it's that the idea of growing and attaining all of these desirable and legitimate goals with Some One Else becomes, in my mind at least, the way to do it. The Ideal. Disappointed, we have to forget this other person ever existed and reconvince ourselves of how good we were doing by ourselves. I often think "Is career/talent respectability more important than love? Are they mutually exclusive?". I dont think they are. I dont i dont!

One of my favorite Smiths songs is, geniusly, called "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby." I dont know if there's a reason for lonliness and solitude, but I do know it can make you a better, more focused person. After an experience like the last three weeks gave me, I find myself now asking "Why? Why can't it be this time? Why can't it be this person?" Morrissey stares back at me with an inscrutable scowl and croons "You just haven't earned it yet, baby." He's not saying it's our fault and he's not saying its going to always be like this. He's also not making any promises. But he tells me to laught it off and most importantly to remember I am fabulous and if someone can't see that in me, it's all his loss. The song is almost a cop out, but I've yet to hear a more convincing arguement. I just haven't earned it yet, baby.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 09:27:27 GMT

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

- Shakespeare, Sonnet XXIX

the party's crashing me*

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 23:09:26 GMT

*I decided there are worse things in life than Of Montreal.

My two roommates - who I really do love and care about and I am very close to - love throwing parties. In some ways, my apartment - with it's odd layout and our lack of furniture - is perfect for parties. One roommate actually made a beer pong table. And at every party we throw, i will indulge myself and play a game or two of beer pong. I am surprisingly good at it. My first game I sunk 8 out of 10 cups and last night I made 8 shots in a row. Sometimes, a limp wrist is good for something.

But problems are arising. Our apartment was finally, painstaikingly CLEAN Friday afternoon. Friday at 3 am when everyone left, it was a mess again. I (foolishly) volunteered my room for the "Coat Room". It is now is a light state of disarray.

A trend that has been developing at our parties is that The Gays, who come in hordes, will at some point in the party overtake the iPod. And by overtakin the iPod, i mean subjecting everyone else to an endless stream of Beyonce, Britney, Beyonce, Britney etc... To ensure that this would not happen at last night's party, my roommate Jess made a foolproof playlist - yeah, it had some Beyonce and Britney on it, but the keyword here is VARIETY. It's the spice of life, so I've heard.

And I dont know about everyone else out there, but I would much rather dance to Belle and Sebastian or Le Tigre than Beyonce.

Our plan was working. I was siging along to Bennie and the Jets and in the middle of my 8 shot beer pong streak when I spotted it: a gay (usually from Columbia College, the scum of the Chicagoland universities) fucking with the iPod. In next to no time, "Single Ladies" erupted. After that, another Gay jumped up on the couch and stuck his iPod in and subjected everyone to the worts of high school - The Darkness, Kelly Clarkson, i can't keep going on. It hurts.

That and people at my school can't hold their liquor. I think they do it on purpose. No one likes a drunken mess. And, people at my school are shameless. There was some level of sexual activity in my bathroom, on the outside stairwell (30 degrees anyone? Christ.) and, for a brief moment, in my bedroom, on top of people's coats (just making out).

Also, I don't really like the majority of the people I go to school with; this is hard, because the Theatre School is a borderline incestuous environment. So I try to mix it up whenever we have a party: I invite Chris, or my SAIC friends, or the Spectrum kids. And it's nice, because I get to hang with them.

Basically, we have too many parties in our apartment.

However, would i really have fun if I attended a party the exact opposite of a drunken rager? Last weekend, my roommates and I went up to Northwestern to visit friends/ party. We ended up at a Northwestern Theatre Elite party. The apartment was, in some strange way, a mockrey of my dream apartment: A table was covered with what had to be the last year and half of New Yorkers, art on the walls. There was no music: the people there would rather listen to the sound of each other having conversations, masturbating their egos. I did have some good conversations as a result (and 2 facebook NU stalkers) but it felt so...Let's Play Adult. seriously, i expected a three course meal and a bottle of merlot to make an appearnace at some point.

But parties are hardly the point of college and now i have to write a thousand word paper on the stage of regional theatre.

inauguraul thoughts

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:19:49 GMT

"The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works...When the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. When the answer is no, programs will end."
- Barack Obama inauguration speech

Some live by love thy neighbor as thyself,
others by first do no harm or take no more
than you need. What if the mightiest word is love?
- from "Praise Song for the Day", the inaugural poem by Elizabeth Alexander

I really enjoyed the inauguration (the snippets I caught on TV and the parts I've you tubed). On Wedsenday, when I was reading about Obama's first day as President online I felt like I was looking at a fake news report meant to trick people. It was surreal. Before Barack Obama even had lunch on Wednesday, he signed 5 executive orders, including one outlawing harsh interrogation methods and another closing down gitmo with in a year.

Amazing. Just like that - and it's undone.

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 00:54:55 GMT

Saw Wooster Group's performance of The Emperor Jones by O'Neil on Sunday. It was the kind of theatre where the actual play onstage has to compete for attention with the ideas it's generating in your head. Kate Valk, a white woman who played Jones in blackface, was phenomenal. The production was the most economical pieces of theatre I've ever seen - every movement, gaze, music piece, prom was essential and perfectly utiized. I've never heard an actress contort and disguise her voice the way Valk does. I stalked the theatre for a good hour afterwards trying to get her autograph, but alas.
It's funny: when the Wooster Group first did a play in blackface back inthe 70's, the company lost their funding from the NY Council on the Arts. Now, at this performance (which I saw for free, thank ya very much) I was squeezed in between two 50 year old suits. The guy to my right was talkin to his friend about he was a board member at the theatre and then changed the subject to indoor tennis, outdoor golf and other odd specializations of sports based on their location. When the play began, the guy kept nodding in and out of sleep. I found it weird and oddly symbolic that a group of old baby boomers paid $45 to see experimental theatre that they could have seen for next to nothing in the 70's (hell, even in the 90's). Wooster Group started out making theatre to entertain themselves and it seems they're having the last laugh.

Would post more but I'm tired from school. Until next time!

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 07:22:16 GMT

i'm a
i'm a
a diva

Thanks, Sony for not giving me an embed code and making my html illerateness apparent to everyone on the whole entire internet!

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 00:21:21 GMT

Despite 10 degree weather, the streets layered in snow and my having to hobble together 4 bucks out of coins found in my room so I can ride the L I 've been enjoying social activity these past two days. One was an ugly sweater party at a friend's apartment - just a small group of friends with cookies and brownies. it was nice dancing and talking with everyone. then, last night, jeremy and I ended up in boystown drinking vodka at my friend dan' apartment and dancing to old britney spears videos. dan's boyfriend then drove us to the loft where he lives where there was a party happening on the 3rd floor. we snuck in the back and avoided having to pay the 5 dollar entrance fee.

goodness what a party. they kept playing 50s and 60s oldies music - girl groups, early r&b...i was in heaven. I dont think I recognized one single song though. This was definitely a "b sides" or forgotten hits night. not your usual oldies radio fare. tons of fun.

BUT jeremy and i didnt get back to my place until 2 30 am. I had rehearsal at 10am and an audition at 3:30 for which my monologue was not completely memorized yet.

I slept in. Rehearsal i could care less about, but I can't believe i didn't go to the audition. argh. I've got to stop expecting that acting gigs will fucking plop themselves down in my lap. I emailed the casting directing 5 times over a week before I got a response from him. And still, I didn't go. What do I have to be scared about?

fix it for me

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:52:24 GMT

I needed break.

I decided to drop the class I would be taking. yeah, it would be really nice to get rid of my history requirement in three weeks as opposed to spending a whole semester on it, but what the hell. With class, rehearsal during the day when I'm not in class and rehearsals at night for another play, my break would have strangely turned into something non break like. I'd be as busy as I was during school!

I mostly spend my time watching movies, downloading music and reading. And goin to Jeremy's house and eating his roommates food. I recently discovered mediafire. I feel so ridiculously behind the times. I told my roommate today, "have you ever heard of mediafire?" and she looked at me as if I just asked her, "Have you ever heard of myspace?"

Woke up at noon today, searched for monologues, went on an adventure to Jonann's with the roommates to look for ugly sweaters for a (what else) ugly sweater party on friday. ate dinner and went to target, salvation army, etc. Then I watched a movie with Jeremy at Facets.

Let me explain facets. Facets is like Premiere Video if Premiere Video acted like a country club. You pay 24 bucks a month to be a member. You then can rent up to 3 movies at a time and exchange them as much as you please. And you get free tickets to see the movie they show in the theater upstairs. Fun stuff. So i saw a film called "Full Battle Rattle" about this mock iraqi town the US army built in the California deser.t It was good. I find it hard to get really behind any Iraq War film. It's such a dispicable situation and I've lived with it for as long as I can remember I'm so fucking immune to it. Historians will spend the rest of my life and beyond trying to untangle our involvement with Iraq. However, I love Bush and Rove's recent apologizes and hypothetical amendments. "IF we had known there were no WMDs..."

Two days ago Chicago winter officially began. I wish I had known it was going to happen so I could have walked outside the day before, looked around and try to remember what the pavement roads and sidewalks look like with no fucking ice on them. It will be like this for the next 3 months.

Chicago at this point in time is awkward. I was home by this time last year. Two days ago i got in a really bad depression. I texted Rossi, Kate and Brooke "I Miss You". Kate replied back, "I call mass text!" I love how this is what I get for being sincere and emotionally vulnverable.

I did something recently that I'm not very proud of. I cant really go into detail about it. I've only told 3 people. It's not drug related. It's sex related, although no sex is involved. I'm not goin to say anymore. I was bored and depressed.

Chicago is weird at this time also due to the fact that we students have no U Pass. So we have ot pay for the trains and buses and shit. Which we are not use to. And money....ah, money. So precious. It sucks because I'm also in the christmas mood and I want clothes and when I spent 50 bucks at Urbs i called my mom to tell her an she said "Ok now that counts as one of your christmas presents". She got me on a technicality! Not fair. The sad thing is, I got a sweater (ON SALE) and a shirt (ON SALE) and gloves (20 bucks). 60 bucks for 3 on sale items. Enough about clothes.

I really miss everyone in Dallas! It's 3 am right now. I have rehearsal at 10 i dont know why I'm staying up this late, like I did yesterday, which lead to me sleeping and not goin to rehearsal. BUt that's okaybecause i'm just the fucking dramaturg and i cant say anything or do anything.

I'm obsessed with Deerhunter and all things Bradford Cox. I just spent the last hour reading his blog and downloading all the crazy shit music he posts on it. Deerhunter, Atlas Sound, etc etc all of it. I think they're one of the best bands in America right now, along with Spoon, G Bear, Wilco, Wolf parade and REM. Its funny I remember trying to get into them in high school and thinking "Oh god, this stuff is so pretentious and terrible." I felt the same way towards New Pornographers. Now I love both of those bands so dearly. Also, I can't listen to the Dandy Warhols anymore. NOt even their old stuff that I use to love. Okay, I can still listen to a couple of tracks off of 13 Tales... and Monkey House is a good fucking album i dont care what anyone says. But they got really bad really quickly. I still find Courtney Taylor Taylor Hot. As. Fuck. Look at this picture:

HOLY FUCK LJ SAVES DRAFTS OF POSTS NOW THANK GOD.

Okay, look at this picture:

It's currently the background of my computer.
Jesus. Look at that scowl...the perfect amount of chest hair...how his belly and torso achieve the perfect balance of fat/fit/skinny...

I miss jake. i'm just gonna say it. I know he hates me. i dont even know if reads this/ knows i have an lj. i fucked up. i fucked up big time. i think of that palahniuk line from fight club: "I met you at a strange time in my life." that pertains to jake and i. i met him when i had just 1. come out 2. became physically involved with a guy for hte first time only to have him ignore me the rest of the summer. this is commonly referred to as "being used".
i hated my body. i thought i was ugly beyond words. i honestly, really did. i hated wearing shorts. i hated being shirtless. i felt so exposed and self aware, terribly self aware. i thought i would never be with anyone. i know this all seems like melodramatic thoughts and histrionic panic attack shit, but that's how i think. that's how i am. i think about dying and age and the past every day when i wake up. as a child, i could never go to sleep on sunday nights ( i dont know why on sunday specifically) because iw ould spend so much time obsessing over the earth, space, asteroids, the sun blowing up and eliminating the solor system.

when i was a kid (I'm talkin pre school, 2nd grade tops), i was riding in the car with my aunt kaki. it was fall. i asked her, "kaki, why do the leaves fall off of the trees?"
"Because they're dying, Mitchel."
I thought about this. Leaves can DIE? A leaf is ALIVE? Hmm...
"Kaki, does everything die?"
My Aunt, ever the progressive, liberal athiest with NO CHILD EXPERIENCE at all replied
"Yes, Mitchy, everything dies."
"Will...mommy and daddy die?"
She realized her mistake.
"NO. THEY WILL NEVER DIE. AT ALL."

My dad remembers that he thought something was funny when kaki dropped me off back at home later in the day. My aunt didnt say anything, hoping i would shurg it off and not cause a scene.

later that night i walked into my mom's room, holding back tears. i sat on her bed.
"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Will you die?"
"Yes, of course I'll die. But not for a very very long time."
"But I dont want you to die" I cried and bellowed, as tears fell down my face. I actually still remember this.
My mom held me and tried to console me, telling me how she looks forward to death because she 'll get ot be in heaven and that i shouldn't worry about death because it wont happen for a very very long time.

A couple of months ago I was wiht my therapist, who i see whenever i'm back in town, and he asked me if I still missed Katie.
"Yeah, A lot"
He replied, "Two years. That's a long time to be missing some one."

Missing isnt exactly the right word I know that she'll never ever be back fully and present the way I want her to be. But I still miss her. I'll always miss her. I use to find this a handicap, yearning for the day when i'll wake up and wont think of katie. i have those days all the time, but rarely does a 24 hr period go by that i dont think of her. it's a thought that passes through my head just like all the other ones, like "He's hot." or "I'm hungry". Some days i like to think about her more than others. I imagine it will always be like that. For the time being, I'm okay wiht that. I always miss Katie more than usual around christmas time and spring break. Dont know why.

I'm going to hate turning twenty. Being nineteen is so awesome. You can do whatever you please and still have the label of "Teenage Years".

So back to Jake. I miss him. He's my friend. I met him at a time in my life when I honeslty thought that if I did not reciprocate the feelings jake had for me then no one would ever find me sexy or like me ever, ever again. THen i went to chicago and discovered physical self worth and esteem and feeling good about looking cute and smarmy. I should have told him, "Lets just be friends." We were such good friends. We had so much fun hanging out that summer.

About a month ago, after my roommate spent all day yelling at this boy on the phone. All DAY. I suppose i got jealous and wated some emotional turmoil to call my own, so icalled jake. i was bored at 2 am i just wanted to talk. catch up. we ended up in a huge text message fight. he said something like

"My god you're so oblivious its scary"

and i resisted my temptations to reply, and the messages ended there. there is no point to our continued fighting. at all. no point. it's just so silly. i dont know what else he wants. i dont know what else i have to tell him to prove that i'm sorry. i feel like obama trying to prove that he's catholic and not muslim. how many times must i say it? i feel like he's holding out for some external reason, like trying to receive the award for Longest Held Period of Silence. Jake and I are a lot alike, probably more then he would like to admit. Honestly, it's quite high school. I dont mean this in a bad way; it's exactly the same way i treated katie in high school.

I wish i could just turn to someone and say, "Just fix it for me." I want us to be friends again so we can get into fights about trivial shit that friends get into fights about. ughness.

but its that damn scotch tape and crazy glue and placing the correct piece with the correct spot.

that made no sense and its a pretty terrible piece of writing. but ya get what i mean right?

Mea culpa, Jake.

synecdoche, new york

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:12:44 GMT

I saw Charlie Kaufman's latest film Synecdoche, New York last night with two friends. It was a late showing - 10:30pm. I decided to write about it because it provoked so many differentiating responses within me.

It's odd that I saw it last night, 4 or 5 weeks after it came out. It's stranger still that I rewatched Adaptation last week as research for one of my finals (i had to adapt a book into a play).

I think Synecdoche is the first film I've seen (if not the first film ever, but I don't watch as many old or foreign films as I should) that truly deserves to be called capital a Art. I mean this as a blessing and a curse. I don't mean that Synecdoche is better or above other "art house/indie" films. I mean that Synecdoche is the first Mainstream, Feature Film film that totally abandons all the tenants of Traditional filmmaking. It belongs in a museum rather than a Landmark theatre. It's not a "movie" - it's an art film. This is hard to describe, but bear with me.

Synecdoche is a film about artists, for artists. This is also the first film I've seen that mentions such lofty and obscrure items and titles that are thought to be exclusively known to the culturally or artistically inclined. The characters in the film achieve things all artistically inclined people aspire to. Things like: opening an art show in Berlin. Receiving art world acclaim and spreads in magazines. Receiving a MacArthur "Genius" Grant. Rave reviews from The New York Times. Striving for brutal honesty and truth - whatever that is - in art. Wanting to create something - a painting, a film, a child - that will outlive us so that we may pretend to live a little longer than our brief time allotted on Earth.

It's a frustrating film to watch and by the last 20 minutes you just want the damn thing to end. The film starts out normal enough - for a Kaufman film. It has the same "zany concept" that are the conceits of his other films.

Being John Malkvich - A zany trip inside of a person's head!

Eternal Sunshine - A zany trip into a couple's memory of each other!

Adaptation - I wrote myself into my own zany film about flowers!

Synecdoche - A theater director has the zany idea to create a life size replica of NYC inside of a warehouse and put on a play about his life! Will the play succeed? Will the critics like it? Will he achieve worldwide fame?

I feel like Kaufman deliberately abandoned his original idea of makin another zany film about halfway through the screenplay. The film becomes sad. The world of the characters becomes so insular and they lose all sense of time to such an extent that it's actually disturbing to watch. Zany concepts are forgotten in favor of...well, I'm not really sure. The film turns into something like a poem - it exists on its own terms and it's not going to make real sense. You have to let it wash over you.

There are still plenty of mindfuck moments in the film, especially ones that play with the idea of "Is this a scene from the play - or his real life? Or are all our lives just plays? Is anything REAL? AAAAAHH" . But the film is also very, very sad. Seriously. I woke up at 11am today because I was so depressed by it. It's almost unfairly cruel towards its characters. I can't decide what the film is trying to say about art or life or arists. OK, I'm lying: I have ideas and opinions but I don't know if the fact that Synecdoche is so ludicrously and brutally strange and disturbing that all of my opinions are negated. What's the point? The film is what it is.

I guess I should go back to the title. A synecdoche is a part standing in for the whole. Like calling the White House the "west wing". The west wing is part of the white house, yet it is also a symbol for the white house. Synecdoche New York is a film about imitating life that, in and of itself, is a symbol for life. Life is too short and at the same it, even though we are given only an anverage of 75 years on this earth - some much longer, some tragically shorter - life is too long. Life is too much. But life is also so fucking small. is this it? School, work, sex, family, death?

Most of all, life should be lived and life should be loved. And yet, the only character that achieves happiness and acclaim in her life and art is a complete fucking bitch. What's the point?

If there is one lesson I learned from watching the film it's to treat other people as people. Not as objects or props.

I liked the movie, but I don't ever want to watch it again.

If anyone else has seen the film, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm going to go take a shower now and do laundry!

you can't fake interest

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:38:33 GMT

Alone in my apartment, taking a break from writing a reflection final and studying for my Italian exam, which I have a renewed confidence in my knowledge of since I aced the oral exam, so I'm dancing my big empty living room to Belle and Sebastian's electronic renaissance and something struck a chord inside that told me to write on lj.

Earlier today while eating dinner at a noodle house a middle aged father and his son sat down at the table next to me. son was in somewhere between 2nd and 4th grade. On the tv above, one of those Axe barely decent enough to be show during primetime commercials appeared, which shows 30 seconds of heavily sporadic scenes of a man and woman in their underwear rubbing their hands over each other's bodies. When commercials like this came on when I was a kid watching tv with my dad, we ignored them. The only commercial my dad ever had an overt affinity for was the commercial which played that Led Zeppelin song and featured a ken doll in a car picking up a girl doll and driving off together. I forget what they were actually trying to sell, but everytime the commercial came on my dad would blare up the volume and start singing along to the song, and soon enough rossi and I would come running into the living room to be part of the experience.

Anyway, after this edited yet still vaguely sexual commercial ended the dad said to the son, "Soon you'll be doing stuff like that" in such a way that was suggests the father was half anticipating the moment of his son's puberty and half cringing about it.

The son replied, "Looks like fun!"

I found out 2 days ago that I was accepted into Loyola with a little bigger scholarship than the one I currently have at DePaul. I'm unsure about what to do. I still want to leave DePaul, but, to be honest, SOME of the reasons I disliked the school have changed. Some facts remain the same: I am not acting in mainstage shows and am not recieving critcal feedback on my acting abilities. I am not allowed to "put on/produce/ direct" my own shows. I am still dramaturging an upcoming kids show and it is driving me batshit bananas. I hate being a dramaturg and I have expressed this disdain to my advisor as well as my thinking about transfering and she said that I was "cranky" and "adverse to hard work". Which is not true. I love hard work. Give me hard work. I love long papers, not shitty reflection papers, but ones that require thought and time and creativity and struggle. For the past 3 weekends i have not had a social life save for seeing a 9 o clock showing of a movie because i havebeen working on this goddamn actor packet. 28 pages of boring information but written in a cool, engaging way. With some pictures. I hate it. Again, I love hard work if I can see the point in it. I see not point with this actor packet. I am not learning anything from it that I want to learn.

To me, being a dramaturg and writing an actor packet is the antithesis of what i want to do with my life right now. Yes, i find aspects of dramaturgy grandly interesting - but not for a childrens' theatre show and not in the structure that Depaul supports. While dramaturgy can be creative, it is mostly shaping and molding someone else's creativity. It is looking at a play as a machine with potential problems. I still have faith in myself as a writer, actor,director - whatever creative role i choose to become (maybe all 3, who knows). Resigning myself to dramaturgy is...pathetic.

Then why don't you just not be a dramaturg? Well, I have to. And, believe it or not, it is the lesser of two evils. I have to fulfill 2 prod. assignmetns at DePaul. I can either Dramaturg or Asst Director. yes, there is less work with asst. directing, but as an AD you have to sit and watch every goddamn rehearasl and never open your mouth. As a dramaturg, at least I actually DO something and contribute something, however small.

But i still think a theater conservatory is not the best place for me. I have an interest in too many things and not enough time to learn them. I should be taking classes in things I know nothing about. I loved my philosophy class last year. There were moments in that class that I swear for half a second everything in the universe made sense. At Loyola, I would have bounds more freedom to pursue classes I want to take and act in a play. I'm blessed that I have many interests. Here, at DePaul, i feel like I have to write in blood saying "I will major in theatre forever".

There ARE some upsides however. I love the faculty here, some of them are quite brilliant. I love my friends here. I am in a play right now that goes up in January. It's through the Office of LGBTQ studies. Laramie Project. It will go well, I think. None of us knows what the hell we're doing onstage, but i think it will come together.

Also, I'm submitting a proposal with my friend Jeremey for a multimedia/interdisciplinary performance/ theater event called FunFunFun. We're using 30-45 minutes of a play by Charles Mee and splicing it with live music and some (hopefully really cool) actor generated work, meditations, mini plays, movement pieces centered around the theme of Fun, Amusement, Abandonment, Joy. Dancing, too. There should be lots of dancing. It's going to happen - the question is, will we receive the big check we kinda need from the office of lgbtq student life? I hope so.

So, who knows? If Laramie Project and FunFunFun go off well, I may end up haphazardly embracing DePaul.

Also, becasue of rehearsal and a Dec. class I picked up I will be not be back in town until Dec. 18th or 19th. And then I leave again on the 1st of January with the play the next weekend.

Must finish paper and studying!

for myself

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:56:10 GMT

Because I (for some strange reason) do not have a calendar in my room.

~~TONIGHT:~~

~~- Work on Actor Packet~~

~~THURSDAY~~

             - Finish Italian homework
            - Have another rehearsal for my Gatsby adaptation? OR go to Communication Dept. Performance Night OR see the gay stripper/author talk at Spectrum?
            - FINISH, FINISH, FINISH the GODDAMN ACTOR PACKET MITCHEL. SERIOUSLY.

FRIDAY:
           - Deerhunter at Metro
           - Study Italian
           - Rehearse/ Memorize Ionesco + Chekhov scene for Performance
           ~~- FINISH THE ACTOR PACKET~~
          - Work on final paper for Japanese Lit.

SATURDAY:
          - FINISH THE ACTOR PACKET. SEND COPIES TO KINKO'S. INSTALL PRINTER SO I CAN HAVE ALL THE DELICIOUS FONTS I PICKED OUT.
           - Prop 8 protest at noon? Do I have time for this? i feel obliged to attend ONE protest a year, and I love protests...but do I have the time?
           - Japanese Lit Paper
           - Study Italian/ Do Chapter Review
          - Memorize Ionesco, Rehearse Chekhov!
          - SERIOUSLY try to finish everything becasue...
         - Think about Gatsby adaptation?

SUNDAY:

        ~~- GATZ performance 3 - 10 pm (yes, it's that long).~~
        ~~- ACTOR PACKET will there be anything left to do?~~
        ~~- Italian - -> study~~
        - Ionesco + Chekhov: Rehearse
       - Jap Lit: paper

MONDAY

        ~~- Actor Packet: Is it done? Please say Yes, Mitchel.~~
        - Rehearse Ionesco + Chekhov: PERFORMANCE TOMORROW!
        - Italian: Study for Oral Exam tomorrow, meet with Michael the fabulous tutor
        - Gatsby Adaptation: is there progress?
        - DO I HAVE TIME FOR LARAMIE REHEARSAL? Probably not. But lets work so I can have time.
        - Japanese Lit Paper

TUESDAY:

        - Actor Packet: Distribute. When do I have to present? Do i have all of the materials? Do i need to buy some?
        - Study for Italian written exam
         - Japanese Lit paper
        - Gatsby Adaptation: is there progress?

WEDNESDAY:

         - Study for Italian Written Exam: TOMORROW
         - Japanese Lit paper: DUE TOMORROW

THURSDAY:

         - Italian Exam TODAY
         -JAP LIT PAPER DUE
          - Do i present the Actor Packet? Find out!
         - Should we rehease for the Gatsby adaptation? find out.
        - WIll i have the god given time to see the Milk advanced screening?

FRIDAY:

       - Only thing left is Gatsby Adaptation final presentation. Perhaps video record a few scenes? Pull it all together. Watch Adaptation for inspiration. Use nate, he is my partner and wants to help me

SAT/SUN: Same as above

MONDAY:

     - Dramaturgy final at my fabulous professor's apartment. Present my partner and I's brilliant gatsby adaptation. Drink wine and cheese.

and then

HELLO WINTER BREAK